I was asked to write a Father’s Day blog about being a dad of a child living with Type 1 Diabetes. I’m not sure how this is going to turn out. I’ll just start by telling our story. My name is Matt Borsos. My son TJ at 12 years old was diagnosed on February 27, 2023. The way we found out, or how it all started was TJ races NASCAR Youth quarter midgets. These are small .25-scale sprint cars. Think go-carts but with a roll cage and full suspension. He races 3 cars in 3 classes, Heavy Honda, Heavy 160, and unrestricted Animal. The car and driver combined must weigh 340 lbs. and the driver alone must weigh 100 lbs. Two weeks before the diagnosis TJ weighed 112 lbs., but at our last indoor race in Columbus OH, the scale showed he was underweight. He came up to me and said “Dad, we got a problem, I weigh 98lbs”. I didn’t believe him, and we stuffed 3 cell phones and a hockey puck in his sweatshirt pocket. When he stepped back on the scale, he weighed 99.6 lbs. I told him to step off, officially re-zeroing the scale and I told him to stand on the very corner of it. The scale flashed 100 for a split second. I thought maybe the scale was just off. After that incident, we felt something was wrong. With the weight loss partnered with some other symptoms like constant thirst and drinking gallons of water, we made a Drs. appointment for him on Monday morning. By 4 that night, I was on a 3-way call with the Dr. and my wife Tammy. The Dr. said I want you guys to go to the hospital tonight, I’m certain TJ has diabetes. We were devastated, scared, and confused. At the time we had no idea what Type 1 Diabetes was. Of course, we had heard of it but didn’t know the difference between Type 1 and Type 2. Looking back at pictures from that time there were other signs. TJ was thin, his face was drawn, and his emotions were all over the place. It was subtle and we just didn’t notice it. On the first night at the hospital, TJ’s blood glucose level was high in the 300s. The nurses said we were lucky and caught it early. From that point forward we felt like we were in T1D boot camp with all the terms, the math, the learning, the fear, and every move being calculated and questioned. We were afraid to make mistakes and do the wrong thing. It was terrifying. I told friends it was easier to keep a newborn alive, and I still feel that way today.

I have two other boys, Zane is 29, Luke is 22 and TJ is now 13 going on 14 in June. Luke’s future wife, Aubrey, happens to be an RN and was at the end of nursing school at the time of TJ’s diagnosis. She was the first person that I called that Monday evening before we left for the hospital. I could hardly speak, choked up, but she knew exactly what to say and she and my son came to the hospital that night. She was in a diabetes class at the time, and TJ and her learned together. She got a 100% on her final test! Several weeks later was the first time that Tammy and I had a night out to ourselves, and we felt very comfortable leaving TJ with Luke and Aubrey.

So that’s kind of the start of the story. Now it’s been a year and four months. It was hard to be back at the indoor series and it was on our mind that a year ago when we left that building was the last time things were normal. I guess this blog is supposed to be about what it’s like to be a T1D dad. It’s terrifying. I’m angry and sad. I don’t have any answers to the “why?”. I feel like TJ has been cheated out of being a normal teenage boy. Sometimes in front of kids his own age we have to talk about blood glucose levels, carbs, and ask him if he has all his diabetes supplies. Before he had a pump, he had to dose in the lunchroom in front of friends, but thankfully he has a good core group of friends who understand and don’t care. Sometimes he forgets his bag or controller and we have to turn around and get it. I try not to make him feel bad about it because for a minute he forgot he has Type 1 Diabetes. Thankfully my wife Tammy is super organized and always has supplies in stock ready to go. But it’s frustrating that we have to deal with all the stuff. Everything is calculated and strategized. Plans get made and then changed. We are constantly thinking about it, every minute of every day. What’s his number?  What did he eat? Where will he be in an hour? Do we eat now? Can we have ice cream for dinner? There are the nights when we’re good all night, and others when we’re up at 3 am getting a juice box. As I said, a newborn is more predictable. We’re always thinking about what the future holds. Should we hope for a breakthrough? A technological improvement? A cure? Hope for healing? We have faith that something will change. We speak it, and we believe! TJ is solid in his beliefs, and not once has he said, “Why me?”, “why did God do this to me?” “What did I do wrong?” He knows this isn’t from God and it isn’t his fault. He believes he’s healed either way, even if he doesn’t ever see it. I’m so proud! He’s not like other kids his age. He’s got a lot to deal with and he deals with it well. I see him as more responsible, and caring, and he isn’t afraid to share what he’s going through. People ask us how he’s doing and sometimes I have to stop and think, “he’s doing good”. He’s probably the healthiest kid you’ll meet. He loves baseball, basketball, playing drums in the band, (soon the high school marching band), and of course racing.

I’m a T1D Dad. TJ’s dad. We are a T1D family, and like the t-shirt says, “No one in this family fights alone!”  I want to Thank Morgan from DYS for thinking of me and reaching out to write this. DYS is a great organization, from camp to the programs that they run. TJ wanted to go to camp as soon as he heard about it, and he had a blast! He even talks about being a camp counselor when he gets old enough. I’m already saying that he’s going to be a mentor and motivational speaker. God has a big plan for him and will turn this into something huge. TJ has made many friends who are also Type 1. All these kids know each other and stay connected through social media. TJ has shared his Dexcom with a friend from south of Columbus and she will reach out to him if he’s high or low. They truly care about each other. So, if you’re a dad who’s struggling, scared, devastated, or a dad with years of experience, insight, and encouragement let’s connect, reach out, or just pray for each other. Our kids need us, more than most kids. Be a proud T1D dad and tell others about your T1D kid. Mostly tell others what signs of diabetes to look for, even the embarrassing stuff. Tell them to pay attention and keep their kids close. Happy Father’s Day! You deserve it!