How to Support your Teen with T1D

In many ways, it feels harder than ever to be a teenager. Add T1D to the picture, and it only becomes more complex and challenging for teens and those who love them. It is one of the most common scenarios we encounter: a parent is worried about their T1D teen’s health and safety, feeling helpless and frustrated with their teen’s lack of motivation and consistency with the regimen, and a teen wanting independence and not to be nagged, but hating diabetes and still needing support. So, where do you go from there? Here are some things to consider and some things that may help you feel more like you’re in a partnership and not a power struggle.

T1D is a marathon, not a sprint, and marathons are exhausting. Diabetes is relentless, isn’t it? It doesn’t stop, and it certainly doesn’t fit with the teen culture of spontaneity, fitting in, separating from caregivers, and risk-taking. Monitoring blood sugars and taking insulin can certainly fall by the wayside in the face of academic pressures, peer issues, family stress, and the search for identity. Even with a CGM, attention must be diverted to see where you’re at before activity or food, or when an alarm goes off: it’s inconvenient and annoying, at the least. Acknowledging that diabetes is not always the priority is ok. It’s also important to recognize that no matter what you do, blood sugars will fluctuate, especially when puberty and hormones kick in! Starting from a point of understanding is key. 

One thing teens often tell us is that they are trying, truly, but they give up because they feel that, no matter what they do, it’s never good enough. Giving credit for the things they are doing goes a long way, and positive reinforcement can help buffer harder conversations about things to work on. It is also helpful (and, admittedly, difficult) to focus positive feedback on the effort behind the number, not the number itself: blood sugars are not value-based, good or bad, they are simply in range or out of range/high/low. Being neutral in your communications around diabetes can make it feel lighter for everyone involved.

If positive reinforcement is at the core of unlocking cooperation, hands-on support, and guided supervision keep the door open. We know that it’s important to foster independence and follow your teen’s lead in terms of what they can and want to do on their own, but there should always be the option for them to turf diabetes to a parent/caregiver at any time, meal, for a day, or a week or whatever is needed for them to get some space and respite: a diabetes holiday, if you will. Think of it this way- while the parent brain is thinking about when a teen is in college, working or living on their own, and wondering if they will be ok, we are thinking that we don’t want a teen to be so burnt out from trying to manage diabetes on their own the years prior, that they can no longer do it when they don’t have their safety net. They will not be out of practice, they have a foundation of skills to fall back on, but they have to have the energy to put those skills into action and need help to keep that up. Granted, they have to be willing to accept help! If it feels like your teen wants to go it alone, give them the space and opportunity, but have them know that you are going to check their devices nightly or weekly to see how things are going. In general, checking devices instead of asking a teen to tell you their blood glucose and what they did or did not do about it, is always going to be more productive and reliable (e.g. less nagging and misremembering what happened…!).

Think about the things that a teen values most. Are they focused on competing in a sport, excelling at an instrument or building confidence in a new skill? How does having a blood sugar in or out of range impact their ability to perform in this area, have they noticed? How can they leverage that to optimize their performance? This shifts the approach from constantly working for diabetes, to finding ways to make diabetes work for you.

A teen’s first job is to be a teen, not to manage diabetes (a struggle for most adults!). As teens grow and find their way in the world, they spend less time at home and more time with friends, partners etc.: use them, bring them in the loop! They are your teens’ world for a time, and they can play a huge role in encouraging and promoting accountability in a way that doesn’t immediately bring out resistance, as is often the case at home. A neutral person, like a counselor or therapist, can also provide a safe space for a teen or caregiver to vent, process how they feel and explore coping strategies that will serve them when it comes to diabetes and life in general. This is particularly important if a teen is dealing with burnout, anxiety, and/or depression, all topics deserving of their own blog!

When all else fails, remember, that time is your friend. Sometimes, when nothing else seems to be working, you just have to walk alongside and help keep your teen afloat until their own motivation and maturity kick in, and that’s enough. You are working hard, and we see you! It can also be true that diabetes doesn’t have to be a battleground or black cloud. It can, and should be, just one part of a much bigger, wider, well-rounded life: a life with T1D well-lived.

-This Blog was written by professionals at Blue Branch Advocacy and Counseling LLC. For my information visit www.bluebranchaac.com or by calling 734-237-6067